LIFESTYLE: Building Trust and Forgiveness in Relationship

Building Trust and Forgiveness in Relationship

Some couples get stuck in a cycle of grudges and mistrust, because they wrongly assume that forgiveness and trust are the same thing but they aren't. Forgiveness can’t be earned; it can only be given freely. That’s why it’s called grace. Trust, however, can’t be given freely; it can only be earned. 


I am not sure how trust has been broken in your relationships, and I'm definitely not advocating that you give your loved ones a free pass to break your heart, because a healthy relationship must be built on trust, accountability, and mutual respect

There was a man who was married to his wife. The man loved his wife unconditionally, but something went wrong, the love he proclaimed was put to test when his wife abandoned him and family to return to her old life of prostitution.
By the time he would found out, they'd had several children, and he wasn't sure if any of them were biologically his.

Her crimes had landed her in prison, and according to the culture and traditions of the land, she would be sold into slavery. 

Her husband had every earthly right to abandon and leave her to the fate she had created for herself. 

Her husband decided he would go all out to rescue her from slavery not minding the cost. He had compassion with a heart full of forgiveness towards her and he went to that slave market; took most of his life's savings to purchase back his wife. 

Based on the culture's legal system, she becomes a slave automatically in her husband's house. He would have had all the power in the relationship, and he could have used it to punish her for the rest of her life. Knowing this, she bowed her head to him and called him, "Master."

He looked at her and said, "Never call me your master. I am your husband." He gave up his rights to punish, control, or humiliate her, and instead, he welcomed her home as his wife.

My hope is simply that this story will open your mind and your heart a little wider to let more love and grace flow into your life. This type of radical forgiveness as seen in the story doesn’t seem humanly possible, but it is possible through the grace Christ has extended to each of us. When your spouse breaks your trust, you should give your forgiveness instantly, but give your trust slowly as it is earned through consistency of actions. 

During this period of compulsory lockdown that has compel us to stay at home together as husband and wife around the globe, let rebuilding and act of forgiveness be our focus, fight the urge to punish or retaliate. Those actions won’t do anything to promote healing, and healing always needs to be our ultimate objective. Love, after all, is a healing force and all we need to forge ahead. 

Notes:-

God had a different plan. God wanted to use this whole situation to show the amazing grace and unimaginable love he has for us even in those moments when we are completely unworthy

• What happened in the story is one of the most beautiful displays of grace. 

• This simple but powerful act of forgiveness shows us a beautiful picture of the unmerited grace and love God offers to us. 

• If we deserved forgiveness, it wouldn't be called grace. If we could earn it, it wouldn't be real love.

• Forgiveness sets you free and makes healing possible in the relationship. It’s been said, “Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and then hoping the other person dies.”

•  You don’t have to trust someone in order to forgive, but you do have to forgive someone in order to make trust possible again. 

The process of rebuilding trust might be slow and it might be painful, but it’s worth it! 

Once you worked through your issues and reestablished trust, your relationship can actually become stronger and more vibrant than it ever was before.